The Birch Tar Boys
Dedicated to Andrew Jewett and Mike Serba.
The Boys miss you.
"Dreams come true; without that possibility,
nature would not incite us to have them."-John Updike
Chapter One
I’m not a very good storyteller.
I like to tell stories, you know, but I don’t think I have a knack for it, like my buddy Jasper who tells the funniest stories. It’s mostly just how he tells them. He jumps up and down and yells and makes hand movements. He could tell you a story about making a piece of toast for breakfast and it would be the funniest story you ever heard. I went to high school with Jasper and he was probably one of my best friends and still is. We work on a farm in Vermont, in a little town, the same town we grew up in. I like Vermont, it’s simple, but I don’t mind it, probably because it’s familiar. I mean I have been to big cities and they are fun and the people are real nice, well some people. I just like the wilderness and I don’t like to be crowded.
Enough of that, though, I’d like to tell you a story about two brothers I know. Their father owned the farm Jasper and I worked on. I think it’s a good story. I hope I tell it right.
***
Hunter and Cameron Reece were identical twin brothers, but their personalities couldn’t have been more different. I guess God was having trouble picking which one he wanted to create, so he just made both. I do that with dessert when I have to choose between apple pie and rhubarb, I just have both.
Hunter’s quiet burning nature only sparked Cameron’s explosive centered heart. They loved each other more than any pair of brothers I knew and they fought worse than any pair too.
Their father, Daniel, was a burly bear of a man, strong in stature and intention. He had grown up in Western Massachusetts with his mother, played college ball out west before he had a back injury at the NFL combine and had to stop playing. Hunter has shown me pictures of his father playing football, in the attic because his dad doesn’t like to look at them. He was a linebacker, real mean looking player.
Their mother, Carol, could be called California dream, bleach blonde hair and tan. She was much smaller than her husband, but her presence just as great. Carol had the voice of angels and I’ve heard her sing before, to herself making dinner, and it is good, real good. Cameron told me she was on her way to what looked like a profitable singing career, but when Daniel wanted to move back east she decided to go with him. She was in love. And from my experience when you’re in love, the rest doesn’t seem to matter all that much.
They were married shortly after the move, and Daniel’s mother bought this farm for them here in Vermont, a sort of gentle push into reality. Carol didn’t have farming in mind, but she seemed happy when her husband was happy and Daniel was happy to get food on the table.
I’ll tell you, Vermont winters can be quite damaging for the unsuspecting and they took their toll on Daniel’s body and Carol’s mind, especially because of what could have been. At times, I think Carol felt trapped, like she had made the worst mistake; the kind of mistake you can’t take back. She gave up so many things she didn’t have in Vermont. Daniel kept his work on his mind, with us in the fields, not thinking about decisions he had made, but about the ones he would have to make that day. He wanted nothing more than to be a good dad, unlike his own dad.
Then Carol got pregnant and a euphoric state filled their home and when the good news doubled, well, the fairy tale began.
As Daniel tells it, once the boys were born he had to work harder on the farm and less on his mind. Their house was small and homemade. It had a cabin feel. Daniel had built most of it, hand wooden beds and countertops, half split three foot diameter stained staircases. Some artists work with paint or cameras or words, Daniel worked with wood.
Carol gave the home its soft safe glow. She did most of your traditional housewife work and cooked the meanest shepherd’s pie I’d ever eaten. In the morning, she was up before her husband feeding the chickens and the horses and the cows, she especially liked the cows.
Hunter and Cameron got older and they were required to help out with the cows and the corn fields, slowly more with age. For the most part, they were well behaved and spoiled broken; they understood the value of hard work, manual labor, and more importantly the respect and knowledge of the relationship between man and nature.
***
I met the boys when I was in grade six; we were in the same school class and got along right away. Everybody in class got their names mixed up and sometimes they called them Thing One and Thing Two, you know from the Dr. Seuss book. I could always tell them apart even back then. They were pretty much the same person. I guess they became really different after one day hunting in the woods with their father when they were young.
On their twelfth birthday, in late September, their grandmother gave them each one of their grandfather’s thirty/thirty rifles for hunting season. This of course was against Carol’s wishes, although I know she was secretly glad they were going to learn how to use a rifle. Their father gave them each a guitar; he thought music was necessary for a well-rounded education. Hunter and Cameron loved their guitars and played all day, even with the constant nagging from their mother to take it outside. I think it made her sad to hear the boys play music, it was a reminder of the past and it was a gift she wished she could have shared with them, but it was too painful.
The following morning, Daniel took his sons hunting for the first time with their new rifles.
The snow dripped from the cold birch branches in the silence of the cold woods. The three trudged most of the day over brown fallen leaves and half dead bushes; Cameron was starting to get frustrated they hadn’t seen any deer yet, but Hunter didn’t mind walking with his father, although his hands were starting to get cold. They reached the edge of a long open meadow and knelt down.
Daniel looked at his boys, "Load your guns."
Cameron loaded his weapon while his brother struggled with his cold hands. Daniel noticed, "Cameron, help your brother."
Cameron sighed, but one look from his father was enough to straighten it out. Hunter didn’t understand why his brother always wanted to be so independent, especially since Hunter loved having his brother involved in the things he was interested in. They sat for half an hour and then the bear walked out of the fog.
This was Hunter and Cameron’s introduction.
The large animal trampled its way into the meadow searching for berries. His watermelon sized head ripped through the green. Reaching back, Hunter grabbed his father’s arm breathing heavy. He dropped his buck knife from inside his jacket.
Both boys had bought buck knifes at the local ammo store run by Rusty, an old-time backwoods hunter who thought every single man, woman and child should own their own knife. The boys didn’t tell their parents about the purchase because they knew their father would take them away when he wasn’t around to supervise and they didn’t want that kind of restriction put on their shiny new toys.
Daniel looked away from the massive black bear’s eyes, trying not to provoke it. He stood up slowly and grabbed Hunter by the back of the jacket, pulling him gently. Cameron didn’t follow though, like his father was expecting him to. He just stood there glaring into the four-hundred pounds of fur in amazement.
Daniel reached for the Cameron suddenly, startling him and triggering his rifle to bark loudly. The bear shot up and focused in on the three as the echo repeatedly gave reminder of the mistake. He stood up on two and let out a giant roar that made the boys shiver. Then he dropped to four, growled and attacked. Closer and closer the bear charged reacting out of fear closing the distance, yards at a time. Daniel stepped in front of his boys, took a slow breath and shot his rifle, but missed. He knew he didn’t have time to reload so he dropped the gun and pulled out his forty-four, waiting until the bear was close enough for a guaranteed kill shot.
The bear closed the gap stomping over the matted grass with furious speed. Daniel closed his eyes and fired. Click! Click! The forty-four misfired and his heart stopped. He turned and shouted at Hunter to shoot, but Hunter couldn’t move. Their lives were moments away from ending and all Daniel could think about was how he failed to protect his sons, how he was a bad father. He yelled for the boys to run, preparing himself to sacrifice for the little ones.
BANG! The bear dropped fifty feet from where the three of them stood. Daniel dropped to his knees in relief, feeling intense amounts of gratitude and insecurity. He turned around and saw Hunter frozen in fear, rifle still loaded and by his side. He shook uncontrollably as he had just experienced more fear in thirty seconds than in his entire life; just behind him was his brother Cameron wearing the look of a warrior pulling the smoking gun from his shoulder.
This was Cameron’s initiation.
Daniel stood up and grabbed Hunter holding him tightly telling him it was going to be alright. Then he looked at Cameron and slightly nodded his head. He didn’t know what to say to his son; he was so ashamed. Cameron didn’t know why his father wasn’t proud of him.
When they got home, Carol put Hunter to bed after forcing him to drink some warm milk. Cameron ate his dinner at the table with his grandmother. He could hear his parents screaming at each other in their bedroom.
"Tell me about the bear again," Cameron’s grandmother asked trying to pull his attention from the yelling.
"Well it was this big, and it had huge teeth."
Carol came out into the dining room with Daniel behind her, "Cameron it’s time for bed."
"I’m telling grandma the story of the bear."
"I said its time for bed. Let’s go. NOW!"
Cameron sulked away and under his breath he muttered, "You don’t have to be an asshole."
Daniel heard the remark and gripped his son’s arm, "What did you say?"
Cameron stuttered, "Nothing."
Daniel hit Cameron across the face, "Don’t you ever call your mother that again. Do you understand?"
Cameron didn’t answer; he was still in shock that his dad would hit him. He hated his father then.
Daniel gave him a jolt, "I said do you understand?"
Cameron’s face changed. He looked into his father’s soul like he did the animal, unafraid, strong and unwavering, "I killed the bear, not you."
Daniel pulled back, the child in front of him resembling nothing of his former son, and realized the transformation that had taken place. Cameron believed he was stronger than his father.
"That’s enough," said Cameron’s grandmother and she took Cameron’s hand and put him to bed.
Cameron and his father never quite got along as well. Both boys weren’t the same from then on. Every so often, they’d start to blend. But, something always separated them back out; it was almost as if the universe didn’t want them to rely on each other for anything. Well, not yet anyway.
***
Chapter Two
(Eight Years Later)
We worked all day in the fields and the barn with the cows. Around sundown when the mountains stood tall with shadows, Hunter and I met up with Jasper and Cameron by the tractor where they were sitting. I pulled out my pouch of tobacco and began rolling a cigarette.
"What are we doing tonight?" asked Hunter scratching his short blonde hair.
"Barger’s having a party," said Jasper.
Cameron shrugged. Jasper gave him a funny look, "What?"
"We always go to the fields."
Hunter laughed, "What’s wrong with the fields?"
"It’s the same shit."
Jasper nodded, "Getting drunk and pissing your pants?"
"No that was you," said Cameron.
"Ah, I had a fucking beer in my pocket."
"Cameron just wants to hang out with his girlfriend," I said trying to antagonize.
"Yeah, she sucks," Jasper said pointing to my cigarette, "Roll me one of those." I handed him the one I had and rolled another.
Cameron’s girlfriend, Alice, was a short energetic brunette who gave everybody but Cameron a hard time. She was always telling us what to do.
"She is a little bossy," said Hunter loosening up the laces on his boots.
"Fuck you, Sara isn’t any better," Cameron snapped.
Sara, Hunter’s girlfriend, was a tall blonde, relaxed and casual. She was easier on the friends, but more demanding of Hunter and his personal time.
"Sara is low-maintenance," Hunter said defending his girlfriend.
"What about that shirt she bought you?"
"What about it?"
"It’s a towel t-shirt," Jasper said.
I was confused, "A what?"
Jasper laughed, "It’s a t-shirt that is made of towel material and it has pretty rainbow stripes."
Hunter shook his head, "I like that t-shirt."
Cameron smiled, "I know for a fact you hate that shirt because every time she asks you about it, you always say that I stole it."
"Are we ready to go?" asked Hunter trying to avoid the topic as we laughed at him.
"We have to go to the diamond first; Mikey has a little league game," Jasper said referring to his brother.
The four of us loaded into the small red Chevy S-10, Hunter and Jasper sat in the cab and Cameron and I sat in the bed. We drove through our miniature town which had two gas stations across the street from each other, one of which sold the best egg salad I had ever had. There was also the Pizza House, the only shop in town that made pizza by the slice. We had a liquor store that sold to anybody that looked old enough, and last but not least, a McDonalds; capitalism finds even the smallest of niches. Everybody knew everybody and that was okay because there wasn’t really much to talk about.
***
We arrived at the game half way through and stood against the fence. Parents filled the stands on the far side yelling and clapping. Everybody came out for the little league games because somebody always had a cousin of a cousin. There wasn’t much to do as far as entertainment in our town. The little league World Series in our town was the closest thing we had to a riot. It always came down to the same two teams, the Red Sox and the Yankees. There was a division between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans, in the MLB, but it just so happened that the parents of children split up the little league teams the same way. When one of the teams, little league teams, won the world series of small town Vermont baseball it was as if the real team won too. If an outsider came to town and heard a conversation about the matter they wouldn’t have any idea what was going on because they’d never heard of a Kevin Holdersmith who played third base for the Red Sox whose father, Reg Holdersmith, owned the crème stand on route ten. It was crazy, but it was our town and we loved it; well, some of us.
"It’s like a goddamn high school reunion every time we come here," Cameron said," Hey Lloyd, na don’t come over here, don’t worry about it, sit, sit."
The hotdog vendor walked by us.
"Anybody want a dog?" Jasper asked as he bought one, "Have there been any good baseball players to come outta Vermont?"
"Yeah there was that one kid who got drafted from Essex," replied Hunter.
"Na, he washed out at Boston College," Cameron said, "No good baseball players come outta here."
"Including yours truly," I said patting Cameron on the back. He and Hunter had played baseball in high school.
"All these little bastards are wasting their time." Jasper said, "That kid on third base should definitely quit." The player on third base didn’t even have his glove on or fit into his uniform.
"They play because they love to play, what’s wrong with you?" sighed Hunter, but Jasper paid no attention.
"What are we drinking tonight?" asked Cameron.
"Loadeds," Hunter responded.
"Is that the Corona with the shot of Bacardi Limon in it?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"When do you wanna go, cause I gotta drop a deuce." Jasper begged.
I pointed to the other side of the field, "There’s a Porto Potty right over there."
"Na, that ain’t for me, just a little too close to somebody else’s shit, you know? It’s like a cesspool of viruses having an S&M orgy in there."
Cameron looked at Jasper, "You are so disgusting. Let’s go."
"I’m not disgusting!" Jasper explained, "You’re disgusting…for trying to make me use that thing…you’re the disgusting one!"
Chapter Three
We jumped back into the truck and headed for the fields where Barger had his parties. Barger was another friend of ours from school. He was a big kid with an even bigger drinking habit. It was a perfect night for a bomb fire. The sun slowly crept behind the hills leaving pink and yellow streaks across the sky. We could smell the fresh cut hay from farmers who had waited too long to cut their first growth. We had cut ours two weeks before so we could grow a full second cut before the winter set in. Soon the cows would be giving birth and we’d have to deal with a bunch of homesick calves; we sold them soon after they were born anyway. But, tonight, there was nothing to think about or worry about and that was nice for us. Jasper and I sat in the bed of the truck.
Jasper leaned into the cab, "Are you playing tonight?" he asked Hunter.
"I don’t know is the case in the back?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, then maybe."
"All I ask is that you don’t play that shit you wrote for Sara," Cameron said.
"Oh Sara, I love your hair and shit," Jasper mocked him.
"Fuck you, that’s a good song."
"It’s too slow," I said.
"What are you a broad?" screamed Jasper at Hunter halfway through the window into the cab, "Oh turn this song up! I love Taylor Swift’s Our Song."
"You are ridiculous," said Hunter.
"When are you going to Nashville?" I asked Hunter remembering a conversation we had once had.
"I don’t know yet, Levi."
"What? Why would you go to Nashville?" Cameron said.
"You’re brother’s going to be the next big country music star," I tried to explain.
"You," Cameron laughed, "you want to be a country music singer?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Do you know how many great musicians are out there that don’t make it, not to mention you don’t even know how to write real music."
Jasper leaned back in, "All I’m saying, is that when you go, don’t forget to come get me. I’m not missing that trip."
"He’s not going. The kid can barely make it down to school."
"I don’t know, we’ll see" Hunter said.
***
As we pulled up to the party we could hear people playfully yelling and screaming in the dark. The light of the fire glowed bright and we could see kegs and beers and bits and pieces of people. At Barger’s the fire pit was built into a large cut of rock sticking out of the ground maybe twenty feet. It made for a great party spot especially with the in-ground heated pool fifty feet from the area, but unfortunately the police knew of it well. The music was loud playing classic rock.
Alice and Sara were waiting for us. They walked up to the car.
"Looks like trouble, boys," laughed Jasper walking past them.
"Where have you guys been?" Alice demanded.
"I thought you were going to be here at seven, Hunter," said Sara.
"At ease, ladies, at ease," Jasper said.
"Don’t you belong is a circus somewhere?" snarled Sara.
"Hey, can you hook me up with one of those towel T’s, belly shirt tank top style."
Sara turned to Hunter, "I knew you hated it."
"I…I"
"You should have just told me, now I can’t return it because I don’t have the recite."
"I love that shirt and I’d wear it all the time, but I think Cameron stole it."
Barger yelled from behind the fire where tons of people were gathering drinking beers, "Hey is that the Reece brothers?" Barger ran over pointing to his hat and carrying a case of beer. "Tony Stewart bitches! You fags see the race?"
"Stewart isn’t even badass," Hunter said.
"Junior didn’t even finish. Blaming his car and his crew again, what a gay."
"Nascar’s gay," Cameron smiled.
"Listen, you’re gay," Barger chuckled, "You playing the guids tonight?"
"Yeah, if you want," complied Hunter. He kissed Sara then walked back over to the car and grabbed his guitar case. The crowd cheered him on; they had heard him before and loved the music he played. It was a mix of old time rock and roll with new country brash. He took the guitar out of the case, sat down and began to play:
"Up on Skyline road,
Nights role in and stories get told.
You find some gravel pot holes and old Budweiser cans.
Sunrise to sunset, farmer’s daughters and farmer’s tans
Lot of hard work and hard living boys;
Cowgirls dancing in truck beds making way to much noise.
Way off the two lane top where the blacktop don’t go,
Where your heartbeat meets the old creek up on Skyline road."
Cameron hung back with Alice on the outside of the fire holding her.
"I gotta get out of this state," he said.
"Soon enough, baby," she rubbed his arm.
He watched his brother play the guitar with vigor and wished he was as passionate about anything as his brother was about music, "He is really good," Cameron said to Alice.
Just as Hunter finished his song a siren went off in the background.
"Did you add a siren to the end of this song," Jasper smiled at Hunter, "COPS!"
Everybody scattered running to their cars. Jasper nodded to Cameron and we walked fast to the truck. Jasper helped Alice into the front seat and Barger, Hunter, Sara and I jumped into the back and we drove away into the dark with our lights off.
***
Our truck pulled into the back fields on the Reece property at the bottom of the mountain that ran into the farm. The boys had climbed that mountain a million times since they were young and it became a tradition with their father. They even cleared a spot at the top and made a fire pit to camp around. It took about an hour to get to the top.
"I’m going up," said Hunter starting on the path.
"Fuck you we’re not going up," yelled Jasper, "It’ll take a fucking hour and I’m already half in the bag, it’ll kill my buzz."
"We’re going up," Cameron said shaking his head and started walking.
"Nope! Not happening! I hate you guys!" And Jasper followed.
We started a small wood pile at the top. The campsite was well matted down creating a nice circle in the surrounding trees. There was a rock formation in the center that was built for fires and the center blackened out from fires before. We lit the wood pile easily with a little gasoline. The air was cool, but comfortable. A couple of wispy clouds floated in the clear star-spotted sky. We could see all the stars from this height. I sat with Barger and Jasper; Hunter and Sara sat off by themselves to my right, Cameron and Alice to my left.
"What day do you have to be back at school?" I heard Sara ask Hunter.
"I don’t know, a month."
"I hate when you have to leave, I miss you so much."
"Yeah, but you and Alice will come down and visit during the year."
"I can’t wait until we can be together all the time," she snuggled into his body.
"Yeah," Hunter said with a tad bit of reluctance in his voice.
"Have you thought anymore about working for my father?"
"Yeah."
"And?" she looked up at him.
"I don’t know. It is a good job. I just don’t know if I want to work construction for the rest of my life."
"You’re still thinking about the singing thing?" she said disappointed.
"I want to be a musician."
"There isn’t any future in it. I think it’s a great hobby, but you have to be realistic."
"Well it’s a long way off so," he calmed her down.
Cameron asked for another beer and I tossed him one.
"When do you have to be back at school, cause I’ll take the day off?" asked Alice.
"I think a month, I’ll let you know."
"Sara and I will come down to visit," she reassured him.
"Okay," he kissed her forehead.
"Have you thought anymore about what you want to do?"
"What? When?"
"After school."
"Oh, no not yet. I just can’t wait until we can be together all the time," he smiled.
She squeezed him tightly, "Yeah."
Barger hit me on the arm, "When do think Jasper will go back to jail?"
"Probably a month," I said poking Jasper.
He had his eyes closed, "Fuck you, that was one bar fight and it was your guys’ fault."
The night wilted away and I fell asleep.
I woke up around four in the morning and could tell something was wrong. I didn’t know what it was, but something was wrong. I could sense it. I looked around the fire to make sure everybody was sleeping okay. I saw Hunter awake staring into the fire somewhat unconscious in a dream world. He was strumming his guitar with a couple fingers humming a tune I didn’t recognize. I knew better than to disrupt his moment; he had them often. He lived in his future, which was why his present was so bland. A man either lives his dreams or his life becomes a sequence of waiting. Hunter would eventually have to make the choice whether or not to show up to his own life. As for this night, well, it was okay to leave him alone. He needed the yearning; he needed the time to develop the hunger to take control or realize that in fact he had none.
***
When we woke up in the morning, the clouds sat heavy like scoops of ice creams in the valley where the Reece farm was. It was hard to see even five feet in front of me. The ground was soft and mushy and the water uncomfortably seeped over my sandal. Hunter, Cameron and I walked up to the house and the others left. The house was empty which surprised me because normally it smelled like eggs and bacon from breakfast. I noticed that the stove was cold. I sat at the kitchen table eating a bagel, when I saw a handwritten note on some lined paper. It read, "Boys, I took your father to the hospital, come when you get this."
"Cameron, come in here," I yelled.
He came down and read the note. The look on his face changed from a half cocked smile to a serious frown. He grabbed his keys and the three of us jumped in the truck. The twenty minute ride was eating at Hunter. He didn’t have to say anything but his eyes began to water. He loved his father in a very different way than his brother. Cameron locked his jaw so hard I thought his teeth were going to crack from the grinding. Hunter looked like he was at a funeral; Cameron like he was the man in the casket. We were silent and I could hear the bumps on the road underneath the truck bed rattling me out of a coma-like concentration.
We parked in the hospital front lot and walked inside where Dayna, the receptionist I knew from summer camp when I was seven, met us. She told us Daniel was in room thirteen and we headed up there. The anxiety was building in my friends, appropriately. As the door swung open I saw Carol crying hugging her husband tightly; I hadn’t seen them embrace like that for a long time and it scared me. The room was dark even though most everything was white or that light teal color. The blinds were drawn closed. Daniel had thin tubes wrapped around his large body which at the moment seemed very fragile. He had a bruise forming on the right side of his face probably where he had fallen and his normal slicked black hair was ruffled and out of form. I had never seen him like this, so vulnerable. Carol immediately straightened up when we walked in and whipped her face with her left sleeve; it had dark mascara marks on it. She took in a long deep breathe trying to be strong. The television was off.
"What’s going on?" asked Cameron.
"Boys, I have to tell you something," said Daniel with a long sigh, "I have lung cancer."
"What does that mean?" Hunter stuttered.
"Well, I have cancer and at this point, there’s not much I can do about it."
"There’s treatments and second opinions," Cameron said.
"I have spoken it over with your mother and we both think it is best if I just live at home and sort of see it out."
"What do you mean
see it out?" I asked.
Carol spoke up, "It has spread too far throughout his body. Your father wants to live the rest of his time at home with us, his family…and not here in the hospital, considering the chances of him recovering are slim…to none."
"Absolutely not," Cameron yelled..
Hunter slumped over in a red arm chair in the corner of the room and began crying lightly. He was overwhelmed; his brother was pacing the room hard like a basketball coach on the sideline, helpless and aggressive.
"You have to get help!" said Cameron.
"I’m sorry, Cameron, I am, but this decision is not up to you."
"Oh so you are going to refuse treatment out of spite for me?"
"You watch yourself now," said Daniel sternly.
"MOTHER, are you going to stand around and watch him deteriorate? Where’s your fight? Do either of you have any SENSE?"
"CAMERON!" Carol yelled, "I think you need to wait outside."
Cameron took a long angry look at his parents and stomped outside slamming the door. Carol was shaken and went over to console Hunter, partly because I think it made her feel better to hug her son. Daniel closed his eyes regaining his composure after Cameron’s outburst. I didn’t know what to say and I stood there like a zombie with my mouth half open. Daniel was like my father too; he had built a room for me on the side of the barn when my parents left for Florida my senior year in high school. My parents never really cared much I don’t think, but Daniel and Carol treated me like Hunter and Cameron. I understood Daniel’s decision, but I didn’t like it; I knew better than to impose my disagreement at this time though.
"How long did they give you?" I asked.
Daniel looked at me, "About six months."
I began to cry, "I’m sorry; I’m so sorry," I went over and hugged him and he hugged me back.
***
Later that week we moved Daniel home and while Carol was fixing up his room, Hunter and I sat in the kitchen eating some tuna sandwiches that she had made earlier; Cameron was at Alice’s house down the road. I could tell Hunter was hurting bad; he wasn’t eating much and I nudged him and asked if he was hungry. He grunted yeah. The house was different, now, I could feel it. Sara walked in with tears in her eyes.
"Oh baby," she ran to Hunter. He didn’t say anything.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
"No, I’m not." We sat in silence and finished our sandwiches while Sara went into the refrigerator and poured a glass of apple juice for Hunter then we moved into the den. The den smelled of wood lacquer; Daniel had just finished the mantel above the fireplace out of oak. I sat in an old easy-back chair and Hunter and Sara sat on the couch.
"So what’s going to happen now?" Sara asked.
"I don’t know, what do you mean?" Hunter said.
"Well, your father can’t really work, can he?"
"I didn’t even think about the farm." Hunter cupped his head in his hands realizing that there was a major issue. Daniel did the majority of work around the farm and managed it too; with him out of commission they would have to make up for the work their father did and rely on their mother to manage. The boys were headed back to school in a month and with them gone, there was no way the farm could stay in business.
"I don’t know what’s going on," said Hunter, "It’s too much to take in at once."
"Well, as I see it you’ll either have to sell the farm and move or you’ll have to stay home from college," Sara sort of smiled and I think it pissed Hunter off.
"You’d like that wouldn’t you? Jesus, Sara, I just found out my father’s going to die in six months and your smiling."
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I am absolutely not happy about this, I just love you so much," Sara started crying and it seemed a little fake to me. She knew Hunter was a sucker for tears. He hugged her and said it was ok and after a minute those magic tears turned themselves off.
"What are you thinking?" I asked Hunter.
"As I see it Levi, my father would never ask us to stay, he just wouldn’t do that. But if my mother asks us, then I would stay. I mean I could always go back to school later."
"What do you think Cameron would do?" I asked him interested.
"He’d stay," Hunter looked at us unsure.
"I don’t know," I said and I didn’t think so; Cameron was much more a lone ranger than a team player.
"He would definitely stay, we would make him," Hunter said.
"Have you ever made him do anything he didn’t want to?" I asked already knowing the answer.
"You don’t think he would stay, Levi?"
"I don’t know if he would or wouldn’t. All I’m saying is that when he makes up his mind you won’t be able to change it."
"He is so selfish," Sara said, "He would let this farm go under just because he doesn’t get along with your dad. I could see that. He’s never really cared about anything but himself and poor Alice…"
Jasper walked in from the kitchen with an apple, "You need to shut your mouth, Sara."
"Fuck you, Jasper," she shot back.
"You’re going to let your
girlfriend talk shit about your brother, real fucking nice," Jasper yelled at Hunter.
"Mind your own fucking business," Sara said again.
"Sara, you don’t know shit about what’s going on, so fuck off," laughed Jasper.
"Jasper, easy on her," Hunter said.
"You’re a real piece of shit," Sara kept pushing.
"I got news for you sweetheart," Jasper was coming with some heat you could tell, "When this kid makes it big in the music industry," he pointed at Hunter, "he’s going to be playing for millions of hot girls all around the country. Guess who is getting kicked off the team first? Yep, I think you know."
"And as for you," he looked at Hunter, "I don’t want to hear you talking shit about your brother, or I’ll do his dirty work for him."
And just like that Jasper walked back into the kitchen and was gone. Jasper and Cameron were really close friends and it didn’t surprise me that he felt the need to defend his friend. When they were younger they both had this sort of run and gun attitude and they’d challenge each other to do stupid shit like jump off of bridges or climb rocks. We were all like brothers but Jasper and Cameron understood each other because they were both bulls in the coral. I remember one time Jasper got into it with some bad guys in town and they beat up on him pretty good. That night Jasper came into the house all bloodied up and he had a broken nose I think and he and Cameron went back to where the guys were staying and beat them with a set of golf clubs, smashed up their house and then lit their car on fire; then after Cameron took Jasper to the hospital to get his nose fixed. They didn’t mess around when it came to that stuff and neither one of them were afraid of anything so it made sense to act that way. Jasper would never seriously hurt Hunter, but he’d lay into him pretty good if he felt he had to.
***
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