Movie Reviews

 
 
 
 
 

The Counselor: If I were you I would go see anything Ridley Scott directed. He has a laundry list of incredible movies and personally I have loved all of them. With that being said, I am a male in his 20's and most of Scott's movies center around my interests: BadAssNess. THE COUNSELOR! It doesn't get much better than this as far as BadAssNess is concerned. All the actors play the best versions of themselves; Money, drugs, sex, it has it all. You're not going to want to miss this movie. 9/10 Couches

 
 
Bad Grandpa: I don't care how proper or uppity you think you might be, or upper scale and upper class the place you come from might be, THIS IS FUNNY! Every minute of this movie is hilarious from stupid dick and fart jokes to poopy and peepy jokes. The fact that Johnny Knoxville has taken one character and built an entire live action film around it is genius; AND if you think I'm wrong the only other guy to pull it off is Sacha Baron Cohen with Borat and Bruno and he literally has been tested at a genius level. This movie cost NOOOOTHING to make and is going to clean up in the theatre. Even if it only made five or ten million, it's all profit. Think what you will about the jackass crew making people dumber; but I think it's a great way to show film makers smart movie making. 10/10 Couches
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Gravity: When the trailers came out for this movie, I had absolutely no interest in seeing it because I had no fucking idea what it was about. This movie is real simple: two astronauts go into space, have some trouble, and try to get back to earth. Don't expect more than that. With that being said, VISUALLY it will be the best looking movie you see all year. It actually feels like your in space. Sandra Bullock has really become a talent. I am just another asshole with access to a blog and my opinion really means nothing haha, but this movie is real for Bullock. Bullock is one of the best and her job is to make us believe what she is feeling on screen and she is good at it, what I saw here though, felt like a new-ish single mom over-whelmed by the circus around her, battling to get back to her "Earth". She bleeds this out through her character in the movie. Hats off Ma'am. Clooney is obviously a Champion. 1's all around. ***Special Shout Out to Grant Heslov! Been the same great guy whether a giant Oscar Winning Producer or a hilarious friend working at the hotel. 8/10 Couches
 
 
 



Runner Runner: This movie is getting Smashed by the other more sophisticated critics haha. They're all a wrong. Yes, the movie isn't an Oscar contender or some drawn out drama, but you'll like it and you won't be sorry you spent 11.50 for a small soda because of one fact: this movie is entertaining! It's got great locations, hot women, gambling, money, and corruption. Anthony Mackie is solid. I'll tell you something about Mackie, that kid has been around for a long time, waiting and waiting for his moment to shine, playing small roles like it was the last job he was going to get and finally he's getting his day. Can't wait to see him as The Falcon in the upcoming Captain America and Avengers movies. One last thing about Runner Runner: BEN AFFLECK. Affleck is just a complete badass in this movie. He steals every scene he's in, probably why he is a star. Go Bruins!               7/10 Couches
 
 
 

 




Baggage Claim: The premise of this movie is beyond ridiculous. A woman finding a date for her lil' sis's wedding by stalking her ex-boyfriends on the flights they will be on? Really? There's no way homeland security would release that kind of information. I know flight attendants, you can't just choose willy nilly what flights you want to work. There's an elaborate system of Rank and Seniority involved. This is a date movie, pretty standard. All the actors do what they are meant to do. There are no surprises, but you won't hate it. 6/10 Couches



 
 
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2:  This movie is genius. These guys have really figured out the golden formula to make a children's movie comically available to parents. The bad guys in this movie are a Taco Dinosaur and a Biting Cheeseburger. How many times have you been slumped over on the toilet, continuously spitting water from your anus, thinking god damn it, I wish I hadn't eaten that Dinosaur of a Taco or that Cheeseburger I ate must be Biting the walls of my lower intestine because it feels like I'm bleeding out? You won't waste your time or money on this film. 8/10 Couches
 
 
 
 
 
 
Don Jon:  Fucking Hilarious! Tony Danza being a total badass? Yes, sign me up, sign me up so hard. Joseph Gordon-Levitt sells the shit out of Jersey Shore. People love to laugh at the whole Jersey Shore thing and I don't understand why. Are they ridiculous? Yes. Are their habits and ideas on life a bit odd? Absolutely! But I think what your all missing is the tiny fact that its FUCKING ENTERTAINING. Things that are entertaining go on Television and Movie Screens, that's the whole basic idea behind this industry. I feel like Russell Crowe in the Gladiator. "Are you not entertained?" By the way, Russell Crowe, Badass Hall Of Fame. This movie will entertain you, go see it.
9/10 Couches
 
 
 
 
 
 
Battle of the Year: How many god damn dance movies are going to get made? I guess if I spent 200,000 to make a movie and it made 5 Million at the Box Office, I'd be a complete fucking dumbass if I didn't keep making it over and over again. And that's what's happening with these dance movies; the producers aren't spending much and making a grip of money on the back end. This movie isn't going to be any different than all the other dance movies out there. You got Chris Brown who is killer dancer (Crushing dance floors and girlfriends since 1989) leading a super cooo and badass underdog team of amazing dancers. They dance and shit throughout the movie overcoming their inner demons and gettin respect. Sawyer from Lost is in it; he's always a badass. It is what it is. 5/10 Couches


 
 

 
Prisoners: This movie is fucking 2 and half hours long. I'm not saying it's bad movie, but it's about child abduction and fear and anxiety. All I'm saying is that if I'm going to sit for what seems like eternity, I don't know if my first choice is going to be the Casey Anthony Story. Or The Hobbit for that matter; Forty-Five minutes in the Shire, are you kidding me? Hugh Jackman is always solid, not my favorite, but good. Jake Gyllenhaal is honest. Maria Bello is a Pro. The story is complete; mysteries are always okay. 7/10 Couches
 
 
 
 
 
Rush: Thor kills it. The kid who plays Niki Lauda, Daniel Bruhl, is really good. Just like the preview promises, it has fast cars, women, money and drama. Badass racing sequences always keep you entertained and the Director Ron Howard makes Couch-worthy movies. If you like movies about Racing and living the dream, go see it, if you don't, then don't go see it. 8/10 Couches
 
***
 
***Please, Please Donate!***
 

The Santa Monica Football Team Needs Donations SOON or they can't go to their tournament! Donate Here: http://couchseshcritic.blogspot.com/2013/10/mater-dei-claims-mountain.html
                                                          Only Need 2000 Dollars!

Also Ian's Foundation still needs Donations for his Run For Kids Event! Donate Here: 
http://couchseshcritic.blogspot.com/2013/10/a-drive.html
                                                          Only Need 5000 Dollars!

 

No comments:

Post a Comment