T.V. Series Reviews
Who is the Best Character on Breaking Bad?
With the end of one of the greatest shows we never thought we'd like, Breaking Bad has entertained us for six years, or for some of us three years because we didn't start watching right away and jammed 36 episodes of meth into our veins in 48 hours during an epic Couch Sesh with the boys only breaking for snack reloads or number twos. Number TWO'S ONLY!
After the final go and all was said and done, two questions still brought us mere calm gentle intellectuals to transform into hatful angry demons leading to a fry pan being thrown across the room.
Question One brought to the round table by the infamous Couch Philosopher Graig "The Unit" Serino: Do you or don't you think that you could actually cook real meth after watching the show? To which most of us as you can imagine we are sane people answered: Absolutely Yes!
Question Two really ruined our apartment on some deep deep levels. Question Two can ruin friendships. Fuck You Adam Gudro; Seriously, Skyler? I hate you; I hate you and that fucking ugly jelly bean sized tic tac of a melon.
Question Two: Who is the best character on Breaking Bad?
There are great arguments for all these characters, except fucking Skyler who is clearly the dud of the group, like you...Gudro. Let's take a look:
Walt - I am Heisenberg. I am the one who knocks. Blue. Walt is a badass, no way around it; he's fucking tapped and does some fucked up stuff which kind of makes us waiver a tiny bit on him, but he redeems himself and we love him.
Pinkman - Jesse is a strong favorite I think to win this question. He's an original, he's tough, he's always trying to do the right thing. He's fucking cool.
Hank - I'll tell you at first I didn't like Hank. I thought he was kind of a dink. But by season three I was loving everything Hank did. We laughed and mimicked all his lines and its great. Big Hank Fan.
Saul - The best thing Breaking Bad ever did was add the character Saul. Jesus how do you not like Saul? He's honest in his dishonesty and its fucking hilarious. Saul is my personal pick for best character.
Gus - Probably one of the best villains on television ever; except Newman from Seinfeld haha. Gus is everything a great villain should be, he's super smart, crazy as fuck, controlled like a chess master; my only wish is that they didn't have to kill him; bet that's meth right?
Mike - I hated Walt when he shot Mike, hate. Fucking Betrayal. Mike was a shitty guy but he lived by a code...The Man Code. Mike is the real life Most Interesting Man In The World.
There have been some other good characters, Walt Jr. can be annoying and NO its not because he had Cerebral Palsy its because he's that little kid at your side tugging at you over and over again until finally you can't take it anymore, just like that fucking Family Guy commercial I've seen a million times.
Jesse Plemmons always a crowd favorite.
Who do you think is the best?
-Johnny Guns
T.V. Review: The League
This weeks Couch Sesh's Television Review is: The League
Creating a show based around the idea of Fantasy Football was brilliant. The Duplass Brother are smart guys. I began watching the show from the beginning and it really was the engine that couldn't. This show didn't stand a chance with a handful of journey men comics, a singing YouTube video maestro (Show me your genitals...your Gen-It-Tal-Li- AAAA), and an up and coming middle age actress.
They made it work.
Season after season grinding out funny episodes trying to gain the attention of the public, The League has shown us that anything is possible in Television. The cast of characters use their personalities to the fullest, but the guy who holds it all together is Duplass. Like Jerry Seinfeld, the selflessness of straight-man Duplass to take a comedic back seat allowing the others to be ridiculous, is the only reason this show has survived. Yes, the others are great in their characters, but you don't get that without the middle of the road man Duplass portrays.
My only criticism of this show is that every once in a while they take a joke and stretch it too far or they take a Joke that they think is really funny and stretch it into an entire episode when the joke is really just momentarily funny. The biggest example of this is the whole Boba-Man episode. The phone chicken idea is funny; I just didn't think it was funny enough for a whole episode.
Other than that, the show has legs. I want the SHIVA!
-Johnny Guns
POST SCRIPT UPDATE: I am such an idiot. How could I do this review and not mention one of the greatest characters ever created: RAFIIIIIIIIII....Jason Mantzoukas is one of the funniest people around and is an absolute GEM on this show!!!!
Review Assignment #2: Workaholics
I guess when you're just so full of natural, genius and really all the kinds of Talent there are, you create a bible like equivalent T.V. Show and call it: Workaholics.
I realize that with a show this complex and smart, a lot of people out there will have to watch episodes two and three times just to understand the level of intelligence they are dealing with. From the Office Cubicle to the House the characters live in, we see a wide variety of colorful and highly detailed sets. The Writing notches one level up from the Apostles (the apostles were a tad pushy.) The Director weaves the actor performances like Mozart composing a symphony.
Pitt, Day-Lewis, and Cruise...I mean Anderson, Holm, and DeVine are so deep into their characters I have a sneaking suspicion the Dalai Lama coaches them on-set.
The real genius behind this show is that it teaches viewers that it's okay to laugh and make fun of yourself. That kind of experience is rare.
Workaholics, get at me...get at me!
I give Workaholics: 10/10 Couches
-Johnny Guns
P.S. I spoke with Random Guy Jesse Mattson, and apparently he demands his friends stop saying he looks like Adam DeVine. He strongly objects. Totally Random.
Perfect Morning
I woke up at 9 am on the couch and finished a flat Sprite and a half eaten box of Cheez-It's. Fuck I love Cheez-It's. I even ate a few that had fallen on the carpet; I'm not even ashamed. After World War 3 occurred in the bathroom I decided to Spite my asshole by nuking a couple of frozen White Castle's and some Tejas Toast; my asshole's not the boss of me. Then I did what any guy in his mid-twenties and jobless does, I turned on TBS and JACKPOT: SVU MARATHON!!! If you haven't wasted a working week-day watching a Law & Order: SVU Marathon just get out; just get the hell right out of here.
For starters: why the fuck does everybody think Stabler has an anger problem? "OMG Stabler's losing it again..." Wow you're really surprised he wants to beat up a guy who molests and kills children? No shit idiot; I'm surprised he's not ripping heads off. One Perp, I'd last one Perp. Don't fuck with Stabler.
First episode Benson and Stabler got into it because Stabler thought the victim was lying and Benson thought she was telling the truth. Oh hot hot Benson always laying down the hammer for the victims; Classic Benson. I'd give up a full Couch Cushion for Benson. I'd shower for Benson. Benson can make me her Special Victim anytime she wants; and I say Victim because she would destroy me in bed like a feeding tiger. For the love of Christ, can the writers of that show put her in a fucking bathing suit ONCE. Be reasonable. Anyway, turns out the victim did get raped, but was lying about who it was. Stabler and Benson get closer while understanding where the other is coming from. SVU problems, right.
Second episode was one of those episodes where they solve the crime in the first twenty minutes and then the rest of the time is filled with some judicial loophole they have to find their way around. Hate those fucking episodes.
Third episode was a back story episode for Dr. Wong. DR. WOOOONG. I have a love/hate relationship with Wong. I hate when he says a perp is mentally impaired who chopped up ten kids. Fucking eh right they're impaired; zap that bitch and call it a day. But, Wong's like my morality compass for this show; he always does the right thing and when a perp is faking mental disability, Wong unravels them like the most tangled Chevy Chase Christmas light string you can ever imagine. Love that movie; big Wong fan. Wong and Stabler will go at it every once in a while; Rock always beats Paper.
Ice -T...OG...always on point. Ice-T being a cop just isn't believable all the time; he's too street. BUT, I do believe that Ice-T would lay a beatin on some sickies. The Captain...telling people constantly to cool off; "Don't tell me to fucking chill." Let me tell you something about the Captain though, one of the boys for sure. Cragen used to go 12 rounds with the boys at the bar; not so much anymore.
Then I watched like ten more episodes; you watch the first five minutes and you basically have to watch the rest.
I give Law & Order:SVU: 10/10 Couches
Don't fuck with Stabler!
-Johnny Guns
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