Couch Sesh Rules
Rule #1: Commercial breaks are never long enough; Adult Diapers Acceptable.
Rule #2: Adult Diapers ARE Acceptable.
Rule #3: If your drink is empty, it is acceptable to wait until your friend gets up to piggy back your drink off theirs.
Rule #4: Number of people a couch sits - 1 = Acceptable number of couch occupants.
Rule #5: The Return Channel Button NEEDS to be respected.
Rule #6: The Laws of Dibs apply to all couches.
Rule #7: First person on the couch gets Channel Rights unless out-voted by a 2/3 majority by the group.
Rule #8: All open containers must have hard surface homes.
Rule #9: There are no Official Challenges on seating assignments after the opening kickoff.
Rule #10: The only acceptable use for social media on Sundays during the NFL Season is to make friends feel terrible about the team they love.
Rule #11: Monday mornings can always Suck It.
Rule #12: The couch cushions will swallow your personal belongings...Accept It!
Rule #13: If the T.V. Remote is further than 12 inches from an outreached arm, Channel remains.
Rule #14: The dog steals your seat. That's the dogs seat now.
Rule #15: If Full House is on...Full House stays on.
Rule #16: Just because you watch a Top Chef Marathon doesn't mean you can whip up a quick crab Rangoon.
Rule #17: Lifting the couch to find change for a soda does not count as working out.
Rule #18: Never erase your dad or mom's favorite show from the DVR; they don't like it.
Rule #19: All couches should be within phone charger cord distance.
Rule #20: Any item left on the couch longer than 24 hours becomes couch property.
Rule #21: If your neighbor decides to always vacuum during the hockey game, it's okay to leave the couch to go one-punch them off their balcony.
Rule #22: Spill on the couch = 24 hours Couch Suspension.
Rule #23: All roommate couch sesh's might never be planned, but are always mandatory.
Rule #24: If you're playing video games, stealing your roommates favorite controller is allowed only if the motive is to throw him off his game.
Rule #25: All Official Couch Sesh Challenges presented on the couch must be accepted unless said challenge violates other couch rules.
Rule #26: Roommate Sack Taps must be officially sponsored by a second roommate.
Rule #27: When the days of watching football (high school, college, pro) are stuck together, it counts as watching one day of football.
Rule #28: Target, Wal-Mart, 7/11 and all Shell Gas Stations are approved snack purchasing establishments.
Rule #29: Thursday night's Couch = Weekend bed.
Rule #30: Angry coffee table swipe Yard Sales are only reserved for Home Occupants. No Guest Yard Sales.
Rule #31: The couch is where castles are born.
Rule #32: Wayne and Garth never Party Off.
Rule #33: No Mr. Penguins on the couch. Swans for that matter too!
Rule #34: It's never okay to root for a Rival team. You shouldn't have drafted fantasy players from that team then!
Rule #35: All snack food brought into the residence is COMMUNITY FOOD. Don't be one of those guys.
Rule #36: If you get up for a cold one, you bring a cold one back for everybody.
Rule #37: Trying not to turn the living room into New Orleans after Katrina when the T.V. Remote batteries die, is impossible.
Rule #38: Anything smaller than 46 inches is not a television.
Rule #39: Janey Briggs got a gun...
Rule #40: Give us the gun Janey.
Rule #41: National Geographic anything.
Rule #42: Subway DOES employ Sandwich Artists; Respect the Sandwich.
Rule #43: Nachos can be eaten for breakfast: Breakfast Nachies.
Rule #44: Using a soda bottle as your own personal urinal in any NHL Playoff Overtime situations is NOT something you can be fined for.
Rule #45: House Guests abide House Rules.
Rule #46: Winner Winner always gets Chicken Dinner.
Rule #47: Blocking the television warrants highest House Punishments.
Rule #48: Changing the channel during any critical game moments = Lifetime Ban.
Rule #49: Harry and Lloyd always repay their IOU's.
Rule #50: All arguments couch related must be settled by a SINGLE throw of Rock, Paper Scissor; Don't be a paper thrower.
**Special thanks to all the people who contributed to the making of these rules.
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