Trophy Shelf

Trophy Shelf

 

 

 

At the age of thirteen, I saw something happen in the stands of my youth hockey game in Chateauguay, Quebec that not only made me laugh literally out loud, but taught me how much people actually care about their children's athletic future: PARENT FIGHT!

 

It's common now a days for comedy movies to use the over-zealous parent freaking out at their kid's youth games as a stereotypical chuckle. Such gems like "Kicking & Screaming", "Little Giants" and "Ladybugs" have used this stencil to create their entire movies. Even Harbaugh has a commercial out where he's losing his shit on a bunch of ten year olds; hilarious.

 

But behind these larger than life caricatures, the truth is there are many many parents out there larger than even their screen siblings, real hardcore pushers. And I saw this first hand from the ice while pleasantly chatting with Pierre, the twelve year old Center standing next to me in a Chateauguay jersey; Pierre's father was now fighting with police, fierce angry gut ablaze and sending messages, along with our Goalie's father, thick porn-stache spitting heaters.

 

The real issue with this topic though seems to be: How hard is too hard for a parent to push their child in athletics?  Unfortunately, this issue gets so individual it's hard to lock down any sort of black and white answer for any sport. The kid coming from poverty, (whether it's the white Irish slums, the black inner city, the Texas or Canadian farmland, or the ghetto's of Mexico) is going to need an adult to push harder than a privileged child, and even then you could make an argument for the opposite. The kid with learning disabilities or the troubled kid, the kid playing football who grew up in New England or the kid playing hockey in Georgia will all need extra.

 

Personally, I was a horrible kid growing up causing trouble wherever I could. If my father and coaches hadn't come down on me as hard as they did again and again and again, I would never have been a Division One athlete, even if it was only for a year before failing out; behavior issues 101 haha. But, MOST kids don't need that kind of torture and definitely not at that young of an age. So, where is the line? And who's authority do we listen to?

 

I had the pleasure of meeting Leland Anderson and Anthony Melillo, the creators, producers, and filmmakers behind the feature documentary "Trophy Kids" and series segment premiere of Pete Berg's Sports Documentary Series "State of Play"; both picked up by HBO.

 

Melillo's and Anderson's "Trophy Kids", brings to light this subject by following young athletes and the parents that drive them to succeed. It captures a vivid and different perspective, so I was interested in flushing out their process and findings:

 

Why was this topic the one you chose to do your documentary on?

At the time I was working on a few other projects and coaching youth football on the side.  I met Producer Leland Anderson through our Executive Producer and friend Peter Berg. Leland introduced the idea to me and immediately I thought it was brilliant.  It is a documentary everyone can relate to.  Fortunate enough I joined the team and help create Trophy Kids.

While filming, what sport had the worst parents?

Flag football.  Believe it or not, parents at flag football games, starting at the age of 6 / 7 years old, are really aggressive.  The level of expectations parents have for their children at such a young age is unbelievable.  I’ve witnessed parents screaming at 7 year old kids for not producing on plays that high school athletes would have a hard time executing.  While filming, there was always at least one kid crying hysterically after each game.  Not because they lost, but from a parent getting in their face about how bad they played.  Youth sports prior to high school is suppose to be about development & structure not wins & losses.  Through the years this mentality has been forgotten and the pressure parents/coaches are putting on players, in any sport, at such a young age is getting scary.

 

Did you yourselves ever get to see or get to be a part of a confrontation at a youth event?

Yes, you will be able to see many of them in our documentary Dec. 4th.  I don’t want to give anything away!  As a former coach I’ve witnessed quite a few.  The one thing I’ve learned throughout the years coaching, no matter the outcome of the game, there is always someone unhappy.  You can bet on the fact after every game a parent is waiting for you to discuss something or show you how displeased they are.  Sadly that has became normal for coaches.  I also had a parent during a game, jump from the stands and threaten me for removing his son to get other players reps.  This past season I had a parent who was unhappy about playing time, punch me in the face in front of my whole team.  That incident really made it easy for me to decide never to coach again.
 

What sports did you play and were there people in your life (ie. dad, mom) who pushed you hard or even too hard?

Growing up I played all the sports.  Football, baseball, basketball, soccer, track & field, wrestling, etc.  Win or lose, my parents were always supportive of me.  Neither of them pushed me too hard or forced to play a sport I didn’t enjoy.  However, they did expect certain things for me, such as, effort and commitment.  If I was going to play a sport, I was going to see it through the end and at 100% everyday.  I think the only times my father yelled at me after a game was from lack of effort.  If I had a bad game, they never got in my face about it.  I never had the car ride home talk about how much I hurt the team that day.  Looking back on it, my favorite memories playing sports wasn’t the games or championships I won, but the times my dad would hit ground balls to me at the park or playing catch in the back yard.  No pressure, no expectations just doing it because we both enjoyed it.

After exploring this topic, where do you think the line is when pushing your child to be a great athlete? Is there a line?

I think the line gets crossed when the parent(s) is providing only for their own personal satisfaction or looking for some type of reward through their child’s athletic success.  Many parents live vicariously through their children and it can be harmful to the kid and coaches.

Trophy Kids will air on HBO on December 4th at 9 PM. It's an eye opening documentary if your a parent or into sports at all. Check out the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmxO13cMDRM

Got to love crazy parents losing it.

-Johnny Guns